I bet you think this song is about you

I am so bored and livejournal is being a whiny bitch and I can't persuade myself to go to bed because at the moment I am in one of my phases of not sleeping for hours and hours and just tossing and turning and worrying and being either too hot or too cold or a weird combination of the two which may sound impossible but believe me it's not and I need a haircut but keep forgetting to book it and also a manicure but I keep forgetting to book that too and I only have a few months before I leave here forever and ever and start living in the real world or at least at university which is a reasonable approximation of it and a hell of a lot closer to it than I've ever been and even though I want it desperately I know perfectly well that I am so not ready and even though I think I've thought out all the possible scenarios in my head and decided how I'll deal with them I know that there'll be some that haven't even occured to me which will come out and bite me in the arse and I hate that thought and I fucking hate the realisation that that makes me a control freak because I hate control freaks and have striven my whole life not to be one because that would make me like my father and I want to be like my father only a tiny bit less than I want to be like my mother and believe me I really really really do not want to be like my fucking mother and I can't believe it's Monday already because that means I only have six full days of half term left before it's back to fucking college and exams and not smacking the self-righteous pricks it's peopled with in the face really hard which I want to do more and more and more with every second I spend there and I have washing up to do but can't be arsed and I need to tidy my room again but can't be arsed and I need a fucking injection of motivation into my fucking jugular vein because nothing else seems to be working and I think my dog who is the only thing I'll miss from here is depressed and since she's my dog it must be my fault, mustn't it?

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