the entry of tangents and caffeine
November 19, 2002 | 7:31 p.m.

I just had a Boost Guarana bar (how the hell do you pronounce that? Not Boost, I think I can manage that one. Guur-ana? Gi-u-rana?) I think it may well be psychosomatic to some degree, but I do feel a bit more alert. I've never really been into the idea of drugs of any kind - I don't like the idea of my body doing things I can't control. I mean, it's nice to feel all alert and sparky, but... of course, there's the addiction thing. Not good. Though of course it makes me angry when politicians preach about cannabis leading to hard drug abuse for certain, you poor innocent twenty-year-olds, you're the future leaders of this country and we're all depending on you, but you can't possibly have the ability to make up your own minds!

Umm. Tangents are happening in this entry. It shall be known as the entry of tangents. I was going to say that the only drugs I've ever taken are paracetamol (once a month, every month *ahem* and maybe, twice or three times a year when I get a severe enough headache that seems to warrant outside intervention) and alcohol. And guarana, now. I've never drunk coffee, it's one of those things that I don't need to taste in order to know that I hate it. (No offence meant, each to their own) Like Marmite, which is one of those 'love it or hate it' things. I don't think you have it in America (have I mentioned it here before? I can't remember, my mind's all manic and my eyes feel starey. I'm never doing crack. I've decided. If I ever write an entry about the joys of gradually destroying my septum, (hee! 'uninostril'!) write me angry gbook messages, please. You might even use all caps. Though I expect it'll take me a while to be in a condition to read what you've written, attention-grabbing caps and all) but it's thick dark brown yeasty-meaty-sort-of-smelling spread stuff. It smells absolutely and utterly rank. I would never let it anywhere near my mouth.

Um, yeah. Coffee. I was saying that I've never done coffee (because of course you do coffee, don't you, like it's a proper drug. I'm so innocent it's not even funny) so I'm new to this. You might say I'm a caffeine virgin. I don't like the idea of the comedown either, feeling all depressed when it wears off. Yuck.

Is that really odd and unheard of, to have never done any drugs apart from paracetamol and alcohol? I suppose I should be super-healthy compared to everyone else, right? Hmm. Not sure about that.

I haven't written any more of my novel yet. I feel like I need to take it at my own pace and if I try to force it I won't get anywhere at all, which is a problem, because 'forget quality! Don't get it right, get it written!' is the cry. Maybe I won't bother writing to the the deadline. Or I could make a new one just for me, I could shoot for December 31st instead. It'd be Nanowritwomo. Doesn't quite have the same ring, does it?

I was going to rant about how much of an irredeemable childish cunt he is, but I read the article! When I found it to link, I read it! I normally avoid anything and everything to with him because of the above reasons which will be explained below, but look!!

The former double-glazing salesman from Stoke-on-Trent squeezed £80m out of his recording company, EMI, for his next six albums, the first of which, Escapology, he already has in the can.

SIX MORE ALBUMS!?! Artists normally release albums with two-year gaps in between, right? *counts on fingers* That's...hang on... twelve years!! Twelve years in which I won't be able to turn on the TV without seeing his ugly grinning face or turn on the radio without hearing his godawful three-minute long dirges!

I think this may well destroy my high. I'm typing more slowly already. Somebody send me some speed and a meatcleaver and I'll hunt the bastard down.

I hate him, by the way, because his music is shite (and I'm normally quite accomadating when it comes to music - I don't hold with blanket-hatred of all chart music, par example) and because he's so fucking arrogant. Observe:

In typical cheeky chappie fashion, Williams, who began his rollercoaster career at 16 with the UK boy band Take That, said: "I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams."

*snarls*

He didn't say it, either. He bellowed it. (I was subjected to a couple of minutes of the press conference he held for himself to annouce his own motherfucking bank balance).

May I reiterate - a cunt he was, a cunt he is and a cunt he always bloody will be.

Christ. I just heard a dance remix of the Nelly + Kelly track which can only really be described as a train wreck. If all the carriages blew up and lots of people died and there was muy carnage. It's so easy for dance music to be so bad. I don't know what it is about it. It's not just a collection of bleeps and a beat, you know. There's more to it than that. Morons. (I couldn't make a dance record, or any kind of record, if I tried. I wouldn't have the first clue. But still! Idiots! Talentless retards! You will stop insulting my eardrums, and you will stop now!)

Do you know how many chips you get in a box of McCain Micro Chips? Like, six. And they're really small and pathetic, too. What a rip off. I'll do them with my trusty cleaver too, I think.

Um. I think that's about it. I'll go and buy a box of lovely Boost Guaranas and subject you all to my life story. Sounds like a plan.

<3
gf (aka Little Miss Caffeine Virgin)

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