I am An Adult
October 16, 2002 | 2:20 p.m.

So we had blue sky at last today. Drawing the curtains and seeing that instead of rain and greyness gives me a high no matter how much I'm hating my life at that moment. I think it rained here for at least two days straight, which is pretty depressing, even for me, and I'm used to this climate. What's the word for it, temperate? (I had an unimaginable bitch of a geography teacher, but I've remembered a few bits) It's never really cold, but it's never really hot either, it's just wet and grey and miserable for the most part.

Shall I tell you something else that depresses me? I watched The Labyrinth when I was about eight years old, and I found it so enchanting. I was entralled. I've wanted to see it again ever since, but I never got the chance until a few weeks ago. I watched it, and it was just a dodgy eighties film trying to be really innovative with Muppets-esque singing puppets and David Bowie looking like a fucking idiot.

This shows me that there's no help for it - I really am becoming An Adult. I don't want to be An Adult. Things aren't the same when you're An Adult. Nothing seems so magical and perfect when you're An Adult. It's like you can only experience things at one remove, some part of you is always bored or angry or disapproving. I feel like I've been conditioned to find at least one fault with everything. I hate that. I bet if I watched the animated film of Watership Down again, even though it scared the living shit out of me when I was about nine and I couldn't get to sleep properly for weeks, now it'd just be an animated film about rabbits. It's still about one of my favourite books ever, I admit, but it wouldn't have the power over me now that it did then. I suppose that's a good thing in some ways. Doesn't comfort me much though.

Umm. Guess who can't think of anything to write about?

<3
gf

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