Wow.

It doesn't feel like that long. I should be doing Maths coursework now, but I honestly cannot face it. It's like willpower is a physical substance that you either have or you don't, and I don't have it. I seriously try to make myself do these things, but I can't. I mean it. When I know something is going to bore me to tears, I cannot force myself to waste any time at all doing it.

The fucking thing counts for a grand total of 11% of the final mark, anyway, but that doesn't make it any less tedious. I'm not even going to say what I have to do for it, it'll depress me so much that I'll stop typing mid-sentence and go and do something more interesting, like stare at the wall. And I know you don't want that. Right?

I need to start exercising. I don't really do any proper exercising. I walk a bit, I suppose, but I need to do real exercises like push-ups or something. It'd probably make a difference if I did 10 push-ups and 10 sit- ups every morning and evening, for example. I know what you're thinking, especially with the above two paragraphs in mind, but this is different, honestly. I can listen to music while I'm doing it, and more importantly, I can think about whatever I want to think about.

Oh and yeah, I really need a haircut. But I'm afraid to put my hair into someone else's hands. I mean, it's long. It's like, below my shoulder blades. What if they mess it up? I'd have to hide for about six months. It would be OK if short hair suited me, then I could just get it all cut off, but it really doesn't. I mean really doesn't. Christ. I may repeat many other varied mistakes ad infinitum without learning anthing whatsoever from them, but fuck me hard if I ever make that particular mistake again.

It wasn't quite me, you see.

I should write a to-do list or some other scarily organised shit like that. I have so many things I need to do, some before a certain date, some before another date, most just ASAP. When I get into a situation such as this, the usual scenario is that I completely forget some of the things I need to do, and do some of them late so dates have to be rejigged if I set them for myself (that's rare) or renegotiated if someone else set them for me (that's more common.)

Oh well. I'll muddle through, I always do. I have another date for a uni open day, for example - March 19. That's the main date that I need to have most of the said things done in time for. I would like to have my hair cut by then, and I need a new mobile, a student railcard, and a London tube map (though so far I can only find tiny little ones on which you can hardly make out the names of the stations. Can someone please enlighten me as to the use of them?) And of course I have a multitude of coursework and homework deadlines which I won't bore you (or myself) with.

I have to bring this to a close, I'm afraid. Time for protracted misery Maths. Look! I wrote *counts* six whole paragraphs and managed to say precisely fuck all of consequence! I rock.

<3
gf

PS. I can't believe I've never said this before, but you do all know I'm being sarcastic with that little heart thing, right?

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