incoherence
December 02, 2002 | 1:08 p.m.

Um, yeah. Hi. Is this thing on?

I don't know what to say, really. I thought everything had gone to hell in a big handbasket, but maybe it's not as bad as I thought. Thank you for the concerned messages and for making me feel wanted and all. I appreciate it a lot.

I'm sure anybody who has been reading this diary for any length of time will know that when I have one of my freak-outs and stop writing for a week or three, when I come back (and I always come back in the end) I write long disconnected entries with lots of vague hints and angst. I'm afraid this one isn't likely to be very different. Oh, and run-on sentences. I write a lot of those too apparently.

So I had a very bad day the other week and thought my life was over. I'd much rather not go into it. At all, I'm afraid. It's pretty boring anyway, I'm sure. I'm too self-obsessed for my own good. I'd rather be obsessed with me than with most other people on the planet, however. I'd rather be me than anyone else, too. I'm of the opinion that I kick ass. If you don't like that, piss off. I'm so over putting myself down continually, after all there's a queue of people waiting to do just that. Damn, I've lost my train of thought. Oh, yeah, and if I want to be self-pitying I will be, bollocks to that too.

I broke a nail. It can't have been more than 4mm long, but it broke all the same. How do people manage to grow 10cm claws? You know, Ricky Lake style ones? I think I'll just cut them all off and not bother growing them at all.

If I go to uni this year (and the prospect of that happening is not as definite as it was a while ago, which I'll admit was a contributory factor to my little strop and absence from my little lump of html) I'll have to leave my dog at home. Obvious, isn't it? I'm sure they don't allow pets in dodgy bedsits you live in when you're at uni, and definitely not in uni accomadation.

I love my dog. More than all the members of my family put together. I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to leave her behind with them. They hate her, because, well, she bites. Them. She doesn't bite me. How can I live hundreds of miles away from her? I don't even trust them to feed her and take her for walks and play with her if I leave her to their tender mercies.

I wish I had a photo of her to show you. She's adorable. She's Border Collie (you know, the sheepdog ones?) and she's a bit small for her age, I think. Anyway. I'm going to miss her more than I can say.

I told you there would be incoherence. Oh well, at least I got an entry out, right?

<3
gf

PS. The new signmyguestbook.com policy (you're not allowed to sign the same book from the same IP more than once in an hour or half an hour to prevent against spam) is ridiculous and if there was a petition against it I'd sign it. Spam is not that bad.

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